While reading the newspapers, I found this very funny comic strip to share with you. I hope that you enjoy these as much as I do.

Playing Golf with God

Three men were playing golf. The course was a wicked dogleg with a large water hazard.

The first man stepped up to the tee and hit a sharp slice into the water hazard. He walked up to the water; it parted and he lofted his ball within one foot of the hole.

The next man steped up and hit the ball. Sure enough, he sliced it so that it landed on top of the water. He walked across the surface of the water and and hit the ball within six inches of the hole.

The third man stepped up, hit the ball, and sliced it. The ball was just about to land in the water when a trout jumped out of the water and grabbed it in his mouth. An eagle swooped down, scooped up the fish, and flew off. As the eagle banked over the green, lightning struck it, it dropped the fish, the fish dropped the ball, and it landed in the hole for a hole in one.

Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I really hate playing golf with your Dad."

George W. Bush Joke

Laura Bush bought her husband a parrot for his birthday, and told Dick Cheney, "The bird is so smart! George has already taught him to mispronounce over 200 words!"

"That's impressive, all right," Cheney said. "But you realize that he just *says* the words, right? He doesn't understand what they mean."

"That's okay," she replied. "Neither does the parrot."

Bounce

The US Postal service sent out a message to all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep yellow jackets away.

Use them all the time when playing baseball and soccer. I use it when I am working outside It really works. The yellow jackets just veer around you.

And all this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer!

It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them.

It also repels mice.. spread them around foundation areas, or in trailers, cars that are sitting, and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle.

It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often.

Repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.

Eliminates static electricity from your television (or computer) screen. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.

Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.

Freshen the air in your home. Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.

Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.

Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.

Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

Freshen the air in your car. Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.

Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean.

The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond Between the food.

Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.

Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.

Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.

Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.

Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.

Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. Keeps them smelling fresh.

A jury should decide a case the minute they are shown it, before the lawyers have had a chance to mislead `em. Will Rogers	Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. Kathleen Norris	Only two groups of people fall for flattery-- men and women.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Mark Twain	If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.

Cartoons provided courtesy of ©Frank and Ernest Comic Strip
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